lambing at kislap ng iyong mga mata

oh. my. god.  i'm now at one of the best airports in the world and this place is HUGE.

we're about to board in a few minutes and in a few hours, manila here we come.

but this singapore stopover is one of the best stopover i've ever had. 

photos coming soon. 

 

Light looked down and saw the darkness.

"I will go there", said light.

Peace looked down and saw war.

"I will go there", said peace.

Love looked down and saw hatred.

"I will go there", said love.

So he,

the Lord of light, the Prince of Peace, the King of Love,

came down and crept in beside us.

---john bell

yesterday morning, i went to the shops and decided to buy myself a gift.  for some reason, i felt the need to give myself a christmas gift because when i evaluated my year this year..i wow(ed) me!  the word really is ACCOMPLISHED .  i have done so many things this year that i never imagined i would and i'm really proud of myself.

and so, happy christmas to me!!!

i really indulged myself this time...people close to me know that i can be so kuripot and even my tita asked me if it was on sale but my answer was no (yes, sometimes i'll only buy stuff if it's on sale).  i was glowing and beaming when i bought this.  even if it was a bit expensive for me (my first time to buy a really expensive watch) i didn't care.  for once this year, i forgot the adult in me and just became a child all over.  *sigh* i'm such a girl talaga.

and so you (yes, you!) buy something nice for yourself this christmas.  buy something you really really like.  you deserve it!!!!

// posted by ibyangbabe @ 8:08 AM 0 Comments

woohoo!!!!

i'm done with work for the year

the happiest part of the day was my boss kicked me out of the office early hahaha!  he told me to go home at 1:30pm and off i went to meet the afternoon sunshine with a beaming smile...ahhh life is so beautiful :)

and so i went to the chinatown to buy some more pasalubongs and then ended up meeting with my tita bess at blacktown.  we enjoyed talking over our frapuccinos and cheesecake at starbucks in order to unwind.  a very good way of ending the day and the year at work.

 

at past three in the afternoon, my workmate belinda, told me that she's gonna show me something.  so i thought it was work-related.  but she brought me to the lunchroom and boy was i surprised! 

all our workmates were there and there's this big chocolate cake on the table and there's chips all over.  it was an afternoon tea in honor of me (and chris)!!!!!

as in wow talaga!  i never expected anything of that sort.  i mean, all this time i've been really quiet about the wedding.  there's a few ones close to me that knew about it but i don't really talk about it much since the wedding isn't even happening here.

but they were so thoughtful...i was beaming when they were telling me that the afternoon tea is in honor of me and that they wish me and chris a happy marriage. 

and the best thing was, they even got me (us) a wedding present:

 

i was really touched by their gesture.  at first i was so speechless, i couldn't say a word.  i can't believe that they would do something like that for me.  but fortunately, i found my tongue (haha!) and was able to tell them something about the wedding and about me and chris and it was their turn to be in awe.  finally, they knew about our love story and they were amazed to know that chris and i were able to handle our long distance relationship well. 

after our afternoon tea, we all went to our desks for awhile then one by one, we started going to the nearby pub to have drinks.  i had one beer (yech!).  i don't like beer but i had no choice because apparently the pub doesn't do cocktails (jologs!).  but i enjoyed an hour of chitchat with my workmates.  at one part of the conversation, they were talking about their 1st wedding, 2nd wedding, failed marriages, divorces, etc.  you might be thinking "what the fcuk?i'm getting married and these people are talking about failed marriages?"  but it's actually the opposite.  it's amusing to hear them talk about their marriage fiascos.  they talk about it as if it's the most natural thing on earth.

compared to us filipinos, some reaction would be "naku, sakal ka na" ---it has a negative vibe.  coming from a culture that believe in staying married for the rest of eternity, parang negative diba?.  but here, even after their failed marriages, they're still happy (i mean, of course, they probably had the worst time) and they're still happy to see a person get married. 

this is what i learned from aussies today:  that if you wanna get married, then get married!  enjoy it and love it while it last. if it fails, you get hurt, you get over it and one day you'll love again.  it's okay to fail and it's okay to try again.

some of my workmates decided not to get married again after the second marriage.  but what's important is that they were able to get over it and still be happy about life. 

so that's today for me...receiving and opening our first wedding gift and reading our first wedding card and learning a thing or two from the aussies. 

// posted by ibyangbabe @ 9:57 PM 0 Comments

i just saw abs-cbn's christmas infomercial...and i have to admit that i wanna spend christmas in the phils.  now i'm trying to figure out why i chose to go home on december 26.  it was mainly because it's a bit cheaper to go on a weekday and after december 25.  it's all financial reasons :(   damn, if i could just turn back time!  moral lesson:  next time i come home on a christmas season, i'm gonna be in manila BEFORE december 24.

and now seeing how beautiful the infomercial was, it brought tears in my eyes. i miss my family and friends in the phils waahhhhh!!!!! 

bakit kasi nakita ko pa 'tong infomercial na ito. 

people might wonder what's happening to me, why all of a sudden my entries these days don't have that happy tone. 

it's that time of year you know?  it's christmas and it's for family and friends getting together, enjoying each other's company and just being surrounded by people you really love and care about.  even if i play deadma, hindi ko ma-deadma eh.  lumalabas ang tunay kong nararamdaman.

and at this point in time, i have to admit that my strength is waning.  what keeps me going on is my sunny outlook in life (in general, i'm still a happy person) and my excitement to the things that will happen when i come home.  but other than that, i'm really very fragile at the moment.  anything can easily move me to tears.  kaya pati infomercial ng abs-cbn ay pinatulan ko na.  jusme talaga!  and take note, the weather here isn't helping ha?  it's gloomy and windy today, parang winter (shetness talaga hahaha).  hindi ko tuloy ma-feel na christmas dito.

pero sabi nga ng kanta:

"kahit na anong mangyari...ang pag-ibig sana ay maghari..sapat nang si hesus ang kasama mo...tuloy na tuloy pa rin ang pasko!"

amen.

as we celebrate our 4th anniversary today, i can't help but be proud that we surpassed one of the toughest challenges ever given to us as a couple---that is us being physically apart for more than a year.

before we left, i knew some friends (matatawag nga kayang friends?) of ours had doubts as to our relationship's endurance. some people thought that chris would find another girl when i leave or that i would find another guy out here. believe it or not, there are people close to us that never believed in us and in this relationship. it hurt when i learned of these speculations. i never told chris about this (ngayon nya lang malalaman thru this entry). a bigger part of me played the art of deadma and apparently i completely forgot about it (til now).

the thing was, at that time, there were so many things on our minds (and until now marami pa rin kaming iniisip) so i didn't wanna focus on the negatives anymore. anyway, it's just speculations and some people just wanna bring you down so ba't ko papatulan?

when i got my permanent residency visa from the australian embassy and when he got a job in dubai, the first thing that crossed our minds was: matutupad na ang mga pangarap natin!!!! we were so positive even if we knew we'd have to be apart. all we ever thought about then was our dreams (as individuals and as a couple) coming true and our need to focus on what is important to us rather than the fear of being away from each other.

of course, we were sad. we have been together for quite awhile and we were so used to being there for each other physically. but we had to think of our future, the kind of life we want to have, the family that we want to nourish and the fulfillment of our so-called missions in life.

before we left the phils, we agreed to one thing: to focus on our goals and to be happy even if we're apart. and with so much faith and hope in our hearts, we survived 14 months of separation.

14 long months, but full, beautiful months. and as we prepare for our homecoming in manila, we have no doubt that the sacrifice to be apart was one of the best decisions we have made as a couple because we were able to fulfill our dreams and at the same time we are able to help other people along the way. and most importantly, this experience has taught us valuable lessons that will forever be a part of us.

we have learned the value of sacrifice. that even if we miss each other so much, we only talk on the phone once a week in order to save money. the only exceptions would be if there was an emergency or a pressing matter that can't wait. other than the phone calls, we had to make our own little sacrifices in order to save money so we'll have a nice start-off in our married life. we both rarely go out with friends (less gimik, less gastos), we always bring food to work so we won't have to buy lunch, we rarely shop for clothes and shoes and we monitor all our expenses (as in naka-excel format pa yan hahaha). other than all these, the biggest sacrifice is to leave the life we built in the philippines and start anew in a foreign land. plus, we had to leave our loved-ones behind. pagdating sa part na'to, we sometimes can't help but shed a tear. we really miss our family and friends in the phils so much.

we learned to be more responsible and independent. that even if we knew we had each other, we had to fend for ourselves and stand with our own feet. we had to be happy. we had to be okay. we had to learn and do things on our own. we had to function as efficiently as we can even if we're alone. we had to be one whole person so we can be a better couple together. when one of us is feeling lost, one had to say "kaya mo yan kahit wala ako dyan". after sometime, we realized that being responsible and independent has a bonus---that is you learn to love yourself and discover that you love your own company. we discovered that happiness should come from within, that we never have to depend on each other just to be happy.

we learned to respect and trust each other more. even if we're engaged, i never just call him whenever i want to. i respect his time so i ask him first on when's the best time to call him. we don't even have a rule on correspondence (e.g. that we have to email once a day). if one of us never emails for a day or two, we let it pass. if a phone call is running late, we readily give our benefit of the doubt for the other person.

so what is our secret on how this relationship worked given the distance and time difference????

very simple, we never took each other seriously.

we have issues every now and then. we sometimes do not agree on things. we miss each other so much. a million times we thought of flying to each other's countries if only for one kiss or embrace. on top of everything else, we are also working on our wedding preparations. we have our fears. we sometimes have doubts and insecurities. sometimes, nanghihina na rin kami sa lungkot.

and there's a couple more things we have gone through these past 14 months. madami pa, but we never keep count, we never make lists, we rarely fight about our issues (we had two major fights at wedding-related pa). we never took things (trivial or not) seriously. when we talk about our concerns or issues or dramas in life, we end our conversation with "o sige, tawa muna tayo bago ibaba ang phone". and it works that way. there's no pressure on this relationship. sa dami ng hirap na dinanas namin habang magkalayo kami, wala kaming inisip kungdi ang mga katuparan ng pangarap namin at ang mga taong pwede naming matulungan kung matupad man ang mga pangarap na ito. we did whatever's the next indicated thing and we never sweat it. our hearts and minds are focused only on the goal.

this is one basic truth that i need to share: long distance relationships are not for everyone---and no one is an exception to this rule. married or not, there are people who really can't endure this. this is a fact, long distance relationships are only for the strong-hearted.

after the wedding, chris and i will be apart again and i know the second time will be more painful because we will part as husband and wife. of course, i want to start our life together ASAP. of course, i want to have an apartment with him so we can play house. and of course, i want to be a mom soon. but we have to wait and sacrifice a bit more. and i know even if we're married, we may have separations like this again (there's a british businessman who has expressed that he'd like chris to work for their london office, naloka ang beauty ko pero super natuwa rin ako kasi at least may ibang gustong magbigay ng job opportunity kay chris). in a way, we invite adventure in our lives so we'll see where our dreams will take us. and at the end of the day, we just pray to god, lifting all our wishes and worries to him. we're letting his will be done.

as i end my entry, let me just give a very special message to my one and only life partner:
chris, thank you so much for making me so happy...for becoming the man that you are now...for sharing your life with me...for sharing your dreams with me and for supporting my dreams, some of which they come true because of you...for giving me strength in times when i need it badly...for giving me so much peace in this lifetime...for teaching me the value of sharing and forgiveness...for teaching me the value of foresight...for simply loving me the best way you can. thank you for four beautiful years, baby! happy happy happy anniversary! i love you always.

Labels: chris

this wedding has totally taken over my life since the month of november started...and now that december has finally crept in, there isn't a day that i work on a certain detail. yes, i can really feel the pressure now.

i have 19 days left before i leave for manila. that would mean 19 days more to prepare for the wedding, to do what i can do while i'm still here. upon arrival in manila, chris and i will face the wedding preparations ourselves. we will be meeting our suppliers one by one. we will finalize all details. we will meet our entourage. we will welcome our balikbayan guests. we will prepare all our wedding paraphernalias. all the things we have been working for for more than a year, we will face them all together. finally.

i'm taking a breather now before i go to sleep. i just had to write down all my thoughts at the moment or else i might get too emotional or irrational due to the pressure i'm feeling right now.

a part of me wants to cry. the advise given to me before that even if i do anything in my power for things to run smoothly, there will still be twists along the way is happening to me (to us) right now. no one is spared from this and i truly understand. and there are things that are really uncontrollable. but it just hurts, you know? now matter how prepared you are for the twists, it will still hurt you.

a bigger part of me is still grateful that things are happening now rather than later. that i (we) are told now rather than waiting for us to be back in manila. and all i have to remember now is that everyone who gives a damn about this wedding is excited---to see us and to be a part of the wedding. at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

now all i do is breathe....breathe...breathe....

this too shall pass....this too shall pass....

and tonight before i lay myself to sleep, this will be my prayer:

Labels: wedding

1 December 2006

it was the one of the best nights of my life when hilda organized a small, intimate bridal shower party for me in Sydney. it was attended by the real friends i've made here: ara, kiwi, rachelle and ruth. then during karaoke time, my cuzins ayie & clare joined.

the whole event was half a surprise. hilda had talked to me of having a hen's night and i was a bit hesitant at first because i was getting swamped with work in the office and in the wedding preps. a part of me felt like i need stay home and work as much as possible BUT a BIGGER part of me wanted to enjoy my last days as a single woman. and i really wanna hang out with my girlfriends before we all go back to the phils (most are going to manila for their vaycay) for some hard-earned leave from sydney.

so off i went to meet with the girls after work with no idea of what's gonna happen. all hilda requested was for me to wear a dress...so i did.

first stop was dinner and they took me to tony roma's. wow, dinner palang, happy na ako. it was my first time to eat at tony roma's and their ribs were really yum.




before our dinner arrived, they asked me to open some of the presents. the first one that i opened was from hilda and from her i got my bride-to-be tiara, a sexy lingerie and body pens. very naughty gifts huh? hehehe


then i opened rachelle's gift which was a nice sexy smelling pink soap! as in, it really smells good :)

then dinner came, so it was decided that the other gifts would have to be opened in the next event of the party.


during dinner, they girls asked my of some wedding updates and about my love brouhahas and misadventures. wala lang, spontaneous girltalk :)

after dinner they took me to "karaoke world"!!!! i'm sooo happy. who would have thought that i would celebrate my hen's night in a karaoke bar? kahit ako hindi ko naisip. galing talaga ni hilda....she really knows me well.


as soon as we were inside our room, birit na agad. no time was wasted talaga. game lahat, wala nang hiya-hiya. we sang our hearts out and danced to the grooves of some of the songs. it was also during this time that my cuzins ayie and clare joined us. it was also here that i opened my other gifts: a nightgown camisole from ruth and another sexy, flimsy lingerie from ara & kiwi.

it was a good two hours of singing. when we came out of the karaoke bar, my throat was hoarse. for the first time in my life, nagwalan ako ng boses from two hours of singing.



now for the last hurrah of the night, they took me to equilibrium for a little bit of drinks and dancing. sayawan naman kami. we were really in high spirits. we had fun dancing and watching people dance---a lot of people here are really really weird when they dance.


i'm grateful to everyone who celebrated with me last friday night. it was a night that really made me beautiful inside and out because i knew i was surrounded by people who really care about me enough to spare their friday night with me. if you would look closely on this photo below, i swear, i have never looked as beautiful here in sydney. this was the only time (since i came here) that i looked like a blooming bride.


after last friday night's ado, i felt revived, rejuvenated...even if it was a long day and a long night...even if i knew i still have some things to do before i go back to the phils---my hen's night party brought me back to life! that night, the love that my girlfriends and cuzins have shown me felt like food to my soul. and what they have done for me is something that i will forever be grateful for.

as i end my entry today, let me just share with you some realizations i had as i was going home from my party:

* that i am truly blessed with the best girlfriends in the world

* that the friends that are true to you will be there for you especially in times when you need to celebrate a milestone in you life.

* that even if a bride is swamped with too much wedding details to work on, it is her duty to her friends and herself to party...and i mean party hard.

* that hen's night parties can also be fun even without a stripper

* that whatever happens to me and chris here in sydney, i know my friends will back me up and will be there for us no matter what

* that having a hen's night party is an affirmation that i'm really one of the luckiest women in the world because i will be married to a very kind and loving man

now i really, really can't wait to get married.

for more photos of my hen's night party, please check this out http://ibyangbabe.multiply.com/photos/album/32

Labels: hen's night party, wedding