Tuesday, October 03, 2006
on being ready
had a poker party here at my tita bess' a couple of nights ago so while they played poker (i didn't wanna play) i just grabbed my midori and smokes and stayed at the backyard's lounge area and reflected on the question "am i really ready?" (i'm of course pertaining to me getting married) while stargazing.
this is really not a question of whether i'm having doubts or not because i am definitely not. it's just that i find it amusing that each passing day, i discover bits and pieces leading me to the realization that i am ready to enjoy this exciting change in my life.
first step to being ready
i knew i was ready when i made the biggest sacrifice of moving here in sydney. if it was just chris and i, we would have stayed in the phils. but during our final moment of deliberation on whether to go or not, the last question was "what about our future kids? will we be able to give them a comfortable life if we stayed in the phils?" now, that was the last straw--since we'll build a family of our own, we had to learn the value of sacrifice and the value of thinking for "our children's" future (even if they aren't even alive yet). when we came to the conclusion that we are making this move not only for us, i was struck with the realization that our visions in life has deeply matured over the years and that we accept the fact that we have to make sacrifices in order to be fully ready.
on career
i'm now on the support side of training. i'm still in my area of expertise but i'm not on the hectic side of things which i'm loving every minute of.
i have been with training for almost nine years already. my eight years were spent with out-of-town trips, weeekends with trainees and co-trainers, endless days of training at the bank i used to work for, running around in circles in order to give what trainees need or want and even entertain them in the aim to just amuse and get their attention. i enjoyed and loved every minute i was able to give to my trainees then. in my own little way, i left a legacy in all of them. it was a gift to be able to impart some valuable knowledge to each one of them. it is an experience that i will always treasure in my heart knowing i made a little bit of difference in one's life.
maybe one day, i will have the opportunity to do something like that again. but for now, i'm more geared up with responsibilities of being a wife and mom. i can't wait for the day when my husband will come home to me and just be his wife and i can't wait to hear our future kids telling me they love me just because i cooked their favorite dinner. it sounds idealistic i know but it's actually not! being a wife and mom is all about hardwork, it is a career in the truest sense of the word.
i have read in "Cana is Forever" that marriage is a career and i fully agree. i have given nine years of my life to nourish other people's minds, but for the next years to come, i am prepared to give my time to my family and make them the biggest priority in my life.
on loving chris everyday
now this is an easy one, in a way (hehehe).
i now look forward to waking up beside him, cooking for him, doing domestic chores with (take note chris, WITH--hahaha) him and for him, learning new things with him, solving problems with him, even fighting with him. yes, i expect the best and worst from our married life together.
during the course of editing our nuptial mass misalette for the church ceremony, i realized the words "til death do us part" never meant anything to me until this year. and it dawned on me how meaningful, powerful and scary those words are.
i may be so inlove with chris but i was never romantic on the kind of life we will have---that's why "til death do us part" is a scary thing. i know that we won't have a perfect life together, we will see the best and worst of each other everyday of our lives. we'll go thru major challenges, life-altering moments, we will be happy one day, sad the next, we will laugh and we will cry---all the happy and not-so-happy things that happens in married life. yes, we are not blind...we are just willing to take a leap of faith.
there are no guarantees in life, there is only great love and faith.
we don't expect that our life will be perfect, we just want it to be REAL...the way our love is.
this is really not a question of whether i'm having doubts or not because i am definitely not. it's just that i find it amusing that each passing day, i discover bits and pieces leading me to the realization that i am ready to enjoy this exciting change in my life.
first step to being ready
i knew i was ready when i made the biggest sacrifice of moving here in sydney. if it was just chris and i, we would have stayed in the phils. but during our final moment of deliberation on whether to go or not, the last question was "what about our future kids? will we be able to give them a comfortable life if we stayed in the phils?" now, that was the last straw--since we'll build a family of our own, we had to learn the value of sacrifice and the value of thinking for "our children's" future (even if they aren't even alive yet). when we came to the conclusion that we are making this move not only for us, i was struck with the realization that our visions in life has deeply matured over the years and that we accept the fact that we have to make sacrifices in order to be fully ready.
on career
i'm now on the support side of training. i'm still in my area of expertise but i'm not on the hectic side of things which i'm loving every minute of.
i have been with training for almost nine years already. my eight years were spent with out-of-town trips, weeekends with trainees and co-trainers, endless days of training at the bank i used to work for, running around in circles in order to give what trainees need or want and even entertain them in the aim to just amuse and get their attention. i enjoyed and loved every minute i was able to give to my trainees then. in my own little way, i left a legacy in all of them. it was a gift to be able to impart some valuable knowledge to each one of them. it is an experience that i will always treasure in my heart knowing i made a little bit of difference in one's life.
maybe one day, i will have the opportunity to do something like that again. but for now, i'm more geared up with responsibilities of being a wife and mom. i can't wait for the day when my husband will come home to me and just be his wife and i can't wait to hear our future kids telling me they love me just because i cooked their favorite dinner. it sounds idealistic i know but it's actually not! being a wife and mom is all about hardwork, it is a career in the truest sense of the word.
i have read in "Cana is Forever" that marriage is a career and i fully agree. i have given nine years of my life to nourish other people's minds, but for the next years to come, i am prepared to give my time to my family and make them the biggest priority in my life.
on loving chris everyday
now this is an easy one, in a way (hehehe).
i now look forward to waking up beside him, cooking for him, doing domestic chores with (take note chris, WITH--hahaha) him and for him, learning new things with him, solving problems with him, even fighting with him. yes, i expect the best and worst from our married life together.
during the course of editing our nuptial mass misalette for the church ceremony, i realized the words "til death do us part" never meant anything to me until this year. and it dawned on me how meaningful, powerful and scary those words are.
i may be so inlove with chris but i was never romantic on the kind of life we will have---that's why "til death do us part" is a scary thing. i know that we won't have a perfect life together, we will see the best and worst of each other everyday of our lives. we'll go thru major challenges, life-altering moments, we will be happy one day, sad the next, we will laugh and we will cry---all the happy and not-so-happy things that happens in married life. yes, we are not blind...we are just willing to take a leap of faith.
there are no guarantees in life, there is only great love and faith.
we don't expect that our life will be perfect, we just want it to be REAL...the way our love is.
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