lambing at kislap ng iyong mga mata

today marks my first anniversary here in sydney, australia.

i'm relieved, happy and surprised at myself for having been able to survive my first year here. i have learned a lot of things from my experiences here and i've also learned alot about myself.

i remember when i arrived at sydney airport and saw my tita bess, tito andy and the kids, i cried. i was so overwhelmed with my feelings of sadness and uncertainty i can't help but cry when i saw them. and when i arrived home, they told me to call my parents and chris to tell them i safely arrived but i didn't. i didn't want talk to them coz i know i'm just gonna breakdown and cry. and i think, when i did call them, i didn't cry much when i talked to my parents, but when i called chris, i broke down. i felt so lost, so empty, so sad.

but on that same day, eventhough i was swimming in too much gloom, i vowed to myself that i will be strong and that i will stay afloat no matter what. i told myself that i have come this far and has given up too much (i have my family, chris, friends and career in manila--in short, i already have a life) to just wallow in my emotions. and so i fought all negative vibes with a proactive outlook in life.

it turned out that the fates were on my side...after a week of my stay here, i got a job at a government office. and what's better is that i found a job that is inline with my career which is training and development. i am now a training administrator doing admin and support to training services given to caseworkers (a.k.a. social workers) in new south wales.

with my new life here, i had to adjust to a lot of things and acquire changes in my lifestyle. read below some things i have gone thru for the past year and the things that changed about me (there are alot, but i just had to highlight some few).

i learned to speak like aussies in order for them to understand me. okay, we all know that australians speak english but they have this accent similar to the british. i can speak english but my accent is american (which my boss pointed out one time and i had to explain to him that the reason my accent is american is because we were colonized by the americans before) so my english can only get me to a certain point. little by little, i was able to have a little bit of twang in order to communicate.

other than the accent, i had to know some words like serviettes (a.k.a. table napkins), bin (a.k.a trash can), sunnies (a.k.a. sunglasses ---if you say shades, they'll ask you "what?" hehehe), arvo (a.k.a afternoon, like "i'll be arriving on tuesday arvo"), wopwop (a.k.a far away place, as in "i'm going wopwop so what do you care?"), etc.

my legs became my bestfriend. people here walk and walk and walk! i've experienced walking from my office (glebe point road) to central station ---that's a 40-minute walk, so it's no joke! but i love it. i do this once in a while (hindi naman araw-araw no?) especially when the weather is nice. i've experienced walking from circular quay station to town hall station (25-minute walk) after a friday night dinner at the rocks. my legs hurt like hell, but company was good and the walk was sort of relaxing in a way. i sometimes briskwalk at a nearby park at home in order to relax and exercise ---this i found very good in healing the heart and freeing the mind with negatives. i walk everyday from central train station to my bus station in going to glebe (about 10 mins) and it's one walk that i look forward to everyday because it's an activity that i feel my whole body coming alive, making me ready to face my day at work.

i became low maintenance. i don't wear make-up as much as i did in the phils. i (sometimes) even go to work without make-up! just powder and lipgloss and i'm set to go. i don't go to a salon regularly (before i used to get my hair trimmed once every two months, ngayon umaabot na ako ng three months without a trim). i wear havaianas in going to shops, restos, beaches. i go out of the house not caring what i look sometimes. here, people will look at you questioningly if you go to the mall with make-up on or you look too dressed-up--they'd automatically think that you don't live in australia. it's basically one of the things i like here, the no-frills look that aussies have, they're very natural, like they just came from the beach or something.

side kwento: ang ibang aussies naman sobrang simple to the point na hindi na sila nagsusuklay bago lumabas ng bahay. there's a very thin line between simplicity and being pabaya sa sarili. of course, pinays here become simple when they live here but they still take care of themselves, so even if simple, they still look good.

i now prioritize time with family rather than time at work. friends who know me well know how passionate i am with my career. but that's one major change in me today. one of the things i learned from the aussies is their value for family. generally, people here spend their time off work and weekends with family. shops (a.k.a malls) here close at 5:30pm (even weekends ha?) encouraging people to just go home and spend time with family. as for me, i'm normally at home having dinner at 6:00pm. i go out once in a while like on a thursday or friday night to unwind with friends.

i now have more financial power. admit or not, all pinoys working abroad do acquire that certain buying power. but it's up to us to put it to good use. since i came here, i have kept in touched with my bank from time to time. i update them on whatever financial change that happens in my life. i consult them with our (chris and i) plans in terms of acquisition of assets especially that we are settling down soon. i have invested some of our money on managed funds in the aim that it will grow faster than money deposited on normal bank accounts.

and since chris and i (isasali ko na rin si chris) have money saved and money to spend (thanks to the sacrifice that we made), we are now inspired to pursue our dreams, individually and as a couple.

i now have friends here (friends are the greatest isn't it?). it's hard for me to make friends because i don't trust easily. but i had to bend this rule a bit in order to have a life here. i learned how to reach out, as in really reach out to people that i don't really know. since this is a multicultural country, i had to learn how to commune with everyone. it's one of my greatest learnings here: be global---the ability to interact with all races, not just be friends with kapwa pinoys.

side kwento: if somebody asks me if this country is racist, i'd say no. sometimes, pinoys are more racist in some ways (don't mean to offend). ako, i admit, that i sometimes discriminate--there is one race that i don't like hanging out with because they smell and their manners suck(okay, go figure). generally, aussies are very friendly and helpful, and they're actually very conscious of being racist, they even follow the law of discrimination to the letter.

surviving in a new place is hard, it's really a struggle especially deep inside you. there are times i ask myself if this is really where i should be. maybe in time i'd fully understand, as in really fully understand. as i've mentioned in my previous posts, i have a mission here and i have somehow affirmed to myself that my mission/calling is authentic because even if i'm too lonely, too sad and too homesick for my old life in the phils, my strength never wavers and my positive outlook is always constant. i have never been too weary to be out of focus.

i have a lot to thank for for the past year. i will forever be grateful to this country for showing me that there is indeed a bigger world out there that we must explore and make the most out of, and this country made me believe that the world is such a beautiful place to live in. i will forever be grateful to my relatives for being generous enough to help me in all my undertakings here. i will always thank my parents for letting me go even if it hurt them so much. i am thankful for chris for letting me spread my wings and for being my dream partner (happy anniversary din sayo, one year ka na din sa dubai, baby!). i am thankful for friends that have been faithful to me, near or far. and to the friends i have made here, thank you for sharing your journeys with me. and lastly, to the one above, who never tire of giving me a chance to grow, for giving me challenges that make me a better person and a stronger woman. indeed, there is nothing impossible if we only have faith, always.

for snippets of my life here, please check my multiply site.